Grace to it!
“So how was yesterday? “The hang out with your father I mean?” Dr Martin asked from across the room.
” It was awkward!”
“How so?” He asked as he furrowed his eyebrows.
” He came with the whole family!”
“That’s a good thing.” He said making my my eyes widen in shock.
“Good thing? I was supposed to have lunch with…”
” Your family!” He said cutting me off.
“Look Mirabelle, it’s time to forgive them. This could be the most difficult thing you’ve ever had to do your entire life. Granted, every member of the family directly and indirectly contributed to your pain. But see, the were ignorant of the damage their actions would cause. You may not be able to forget everything they have done but you just have to at least forgive them.” I waved my head as I squeezed my thumb.
“They don’t deserve forgiveness!” I rapped breathlessly.
” Oh! they do darling.
Jesus speaking in Matthew 6:14 and 15 said; For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” I looked at him confused.
” I never knew you were a pastor.” I said making him laugh in the process.
“I’m not my dear, but I’m a Christian counsellor.
I nodded at him as he smiled at me.
” Even the Lord would have known that forgiveness is pretty hard, don’t you think so?” I asked
” But he forgives us still.”
” Well, he is God.” I said trying to explain it to him.
” And we are gods! Let that sink! We were made in his image, remember?.” I waved my head at him almost laughing. He was tough and I get that.
“So what do I do?” I asked giving up.
“Now that’s what I want to hear you ask”. First of all, you pray. You do know how to pray right?” He asked as I smiled a bit.
It’s been like 10 months since I last prayed talk more of attending church service but that doesn’t mean I din’t remember prayer words… My voice trailed off.
“Mirabelle, God didn’t let you die for a reason. He could have let your mum come to your door and knock several times and leave out of anger and your body found later. Instead she wasn’t comfortable and insisted that the door be opened immediately by your siblings and you were saved. She did that, and I don’t think she was so happy with you when you were about to commit self man slaughter. No offense.”
” Well taken” I said smiling at him.
” My point is, go back to God, talk to Him. Tell Him how much of His grace you’d need to get past the hurt and forgive your family. Tell Him to teach you forgiveness and make Him understand that you are ready to listen to Him”
” You think He would talk back?” I asked confused as he laughed.
” He would if you listen Mirabelle. All He wants is you, your attention. Just talk to Him like the Father He is to you and you’d marvel at His reply would be.” I nodded at him as he smiled at me.
” Thank you, Dr Martin.”
“You are welcome anytime. I have to be at a meeting in 20 minutes. Let me hop to it. Tell your father we would have a meeting tomorrow just him and I. I would see you tomorrow, maybe earlier than today, okay?”
” Okay.” I replied nodding. We have been talking for literally three and half hours and this was the only time I felt I understand what he was saying, sincerely. He picked his bag as I walked him to the front door.
I turned for the one millionth time on my bed as I groaned. It was 10:42 in the night and I still wasn’t myself after that session. I just really wanted to figure it all out but I didn’t know how to start.
“Pray he said. Pray! About what?” I mumbled as I turned again. I turned again as I faced the roof then sat up. I sighed again. I placed my hand on my chin.