SAD – Home again?
“It was cleaned up?” I ask as I stood at the doorway of my room.
“Yes it was. Your mother asked the house keeper to fix it up for you so you don’t feel awkward when you return.” He answered behind me. This was the first time back to my room in a week after the whole incident. It looked different, the bed had been moved and my reading table and mirror placed in angles. I didn’t think it would possibly look this good. I stepped in and I felt a mild air caress my skin as my eyes stopped dead at the very spot I tried to kill myself. I looked at the drawer where I kept my favourite toys, my razors, wondering if they were still there or disposed.
“Gideon would bring your other bag upstairs okay?” He said from the door snapping me back to reality.
“Thanks Daddy.” I replied smiling at him. He has been with me since the visit at the hospital. He requested for the week off to stay with me and he has been with me ever since. He only stepped out on occasions to get food and change of clothes.
“If you don’t want to stay here, I can ask Naza to fix the guest room downstairs.” He said as he walked in and placed the mini case on the reading table and turned to me.
“I’m fine Daddy, I can handle it.” He pulled me into a tight hug and patted my head a bit.
The fragrance of his favourite perfume greeted my nose filling my almost stomach in the process.
“I have to run a quick errand. I would be back in an hour. Alert the maids if you need anything, okay? And don’t do anything I wouldn’t be proud of.” I nodded under his jaw as we broke apart. He smiled at me as he walked away and shut the door. I couldn’t believe I would have died and probably lost the moments I just had this week with my dad. Well, on the other hand, my siblings haven’t visited me ever since I sent them out and that has been unusually satisfying. My mother has been brief with her visits and I appreciate that. I made my way to my neatly arranged bed. My wrist still hurt and bled a little, the doctor had promised to send nurses to dress my wrist everyday at home instead of remaining in the hospital. I was on “supposed to be” blood capsules and was asked to eat right to help with the blood supply. They did send a therapist two days ago, whom I stared at for hours until she left uncomfortable. What? I’m fine.
I must have probably slept off almost immediately, thinking about everything because I woke up to my bag in my room and my closet door open. A groan escaped my lips as I stretched and sat up. The toilet door opened almost immediately and my mother stepped out. She looked ecstatic as she hummed to a song and demonstrated a little, or should I say danced a little.
“Oh my God!” She screamed as she looked up to see me staring at her.
“I did know you were awake, you scared me.” She said as she pulled on her cloth as if trying to put up her usual attitude. She cleared her throat, folded her hand as the ecstatic looks faded away. She tilted her head probably waiting for what I have to say.
“What are you doing in my room?” I ask with the best straight face I could come up with.
“Gideon brought up your bag and you didn’t open the door because you were asleep so I decided to sort the bag for you.” I sighed as I laid back down, this time backing her. I wasn’t ready to talk or look at her at all. I shut my eyes wishing she wouldn’t say anything and walk away.
“I made coconut rice for dinner, I know it’s your favourite.” I heard her say.
Oh no! Can’t she just go? I don’t need anything from her, why can’t she just get that? I heard her walk to the door and left.