“Do you still feel dizzy?” The nurse asked adjusting the string she had just put into me.
“Not so much.” I whispered as I watched her take down the almost empty bag of blood above my head and put another fresh bag.
“Press the bell if you need anything.” She said as she helped me lay down and went away. I was having a mental meltdown, I just wanted to lay in my bed until I passed out. I just had my ever first outburst on my family and my father wasn’t even there to see it. The last time I had seen him was by 2am a month ago when he came back from work and I was still up playing games. He was too tired to sit around for a chit chat. I really don’t blame him you know? I mean he is busy right?
“Buzz?” I heard him call, snapping me back to reality. He was here! He really was or maybe my mind was playing jokes with me because I clearly didn’t hear him walk in. I lifted my head turning to the voice.
“Oh Buzz.” He wispered as he walked directly to me and hugged me even as I laid down. He pulled away as he kissed my forehead and sits next to me on my bed. I smiled at his babyish sad face.
“Have you been crying?” I asked
“Maybe.” He said making us share a laugh. I missed him alot, the way we talked, played and joked about everything.
“They told you, didn’t they?” I asked trying to avoid his eyes.
” That you sent your family out or that they think you’re suicidal?” He says trying to make it sound mild with a smile.
“You didn’t try to kill yourself right?” He asks looking worried about what I was going to say. I smiled a little trying to calm his nerves.
“I’m sorry Dad, I just couldn’t take it anymore.” I said as I broke into tears almost immediately.
“Hey it’s fine. I’m sorry I wasn’t here earlier. I promise not to leave you hanging. Sorry, wrong choice of words.” We burst into laughter. He was with me the whole day. It felt different, It felt like I was meeting my father for the first time. we played and shared interest and life decisions and he didn’t bring up the sucidal decision or anything related to it. when I slept and woke up, he was right there next to me.
“You didn’t tell me you would be here all day, I could have gotten you something to eat or change into.” I just felt the atmosphere change into something different. Her negative aura filled the room as she places the bags she walked in with.
“I’m fine, my darling. I was enjoying my daughter’s company.” He replied as my mum places a soft kiss on his cheek and turns to me.
“How is my treasure doing?” She asks as I turn to back her and lie down.
“She is fine actually, we talked the whole day and she sounded really good.” My dad replied her trying to hide the fact that I ignored her.
“That’s great. Which means she must have told you why she tried to harm herself.” I heard my dad hush her immediately.
” Don’t talk about that yet, she isn’t ready.” I heard my dad whisper to her.
” Why not yet? When would she talk then?” My mum said disregarding the fact that I was in the room.
“Where are the kids?” My dad asked obviously trying to change the subject.
“Well Kelvin is working late, Gloria has a late show and Tiffany has a bridal shower makeup job. They’re all busy doing things with their lives instead of trying to end it.”
” Chinyere!” My dad yelled at her. I turned slowly just enough to see her face.
“Why do you hate me so much?” I asked as tears wailed up in my eyes.
“I don’t hate you baby, I just don’t get why you would want to end your life. Like what have we not given you?” I push her away as she tries to touch me. I clean the tears before they could escape my eyes.
“You can leave now. I’m a little to busy trying to maintain my sanity.” I said with all seriousness I could try to gather.
“You want to send me away like you did last night?” She asks as she looks at her husband, probably waiting for him to say something.
“I didn’t send you away mother. I asked u out and I’m asking again, leave my room, please.” She turns to my dad who shrugs at her
” She did say please.” He said shrugging again. She rolls her eyes at him, picks up her bags and begins to walk away but then stops.
“Don’t say I didn’t try to care when you are asked.” She says as she walks out and bangs the door. Silence
“You should try to go easy with your mother. Like cut her some slack, she isn’t so used to failing.” He said as he pulled his seat close to my bed.
“And how does me being a failure affect her?” I asked as he waves his head at me.
” First of all, you are not a failure and secondly, your mother has always been number one in everything she does and she never fails. She doesn’t want you to know it but she is afraid that she must have probably failed you as a mother.” She was just like me, she was vunarable just like me. The only difference was that she was stronger than I am. I wasn’t different at all, I was unique just like her, I guess.
“Thanks Dad.” I said smiling as he hugs me.